The space race isn’t what we thought: it was won by a private citizen first.Edward Benson turns out to have been the first man on the moon. He and NASA agreed to a settlement in which his family was compensated with ownership of a Pineapple plantation in Hawaii in return for secrecy.
We all know the Space Race. Sputnik, Gemini, Apollo. But do we really?
The privatization of space turns out to have happened earlier than anyone thought.
Move over Elon Musk, get ready for another private space company: Benson Galactic.
It all began with a high schooler in his garage.
Talk about a science fair project: he tied helium balloons to his bicycle and actually traveled from Virginia to New York by accident. He almost died from the cold.
And this is where this story gets kind of dark: his mother found his bicycle helmet outside and had no idea where he was for four days.
But that crazy accident was the beginning of a trip that would take him to the moon – literally. Talk about a moonshot.
It turns out used ski gear, a few scuba tanks, and enough birthday balloons for half of a city are all you need.
The balloons acted as his initial boosters. Up until he left the atmosphere. After which a scuba tank provided the thrust to push him to the moon.
Another few tanks for breathing, and a straw system connected to a backpack full of Gatorade provided sustenance for the flight.
Is it true that Nasa discovered him because of a Gatorade bottle left on the moon?
Yes.
People say Neil Armstrong saw aliens – what he actually saw was litter. Of the high schooler variety!
A note was nearby, tied to one of the scuba tanks: “BENSON WAS HERE”
It took them two years to find Edward Benson. This is two years AFTER the moon landing. It was a race involving the NSA, CIA, FBI.
NASA knew they had to figure out who had been up there or else the entire national narrative: how they’d beaten the soviets, how they’d triumphed over gravity – would be challenged. By a kid!
They finally tracked him down by analyzing Gatorade purchase across the eastern seaboard.
Do you remember those competitions they used to have where getting the right bottle top would give you a prize? For years that was an NSA operation to collect data about soft drink consumers, just to find the “BENSON” from “BENSON WAS HERE”.
And when they finally found him, they struck a deal. Of an.. Unusual sort for a government. A pineapple plantation. In Hawaii.
The government didn’t have a legal basis to threaten Benson, so they could only plea and offer payment, and that was what he wanted.
FOIA requests show that the plantation is none other than the old DOLE plantation in Oahu. It still says DOLE on the outside, but Edward Benson has been living there ever since.
I guess the moral to this story is that conspiracy theories always have a kernel of truth.
It wasn’t little green men they found on the moon, it was a neon-green sports drink.
And a high school student who brought it there.